Be A Self-Doubt Dropout
BY ELEANORA MORRISON
“I seek strength, not to be greater than other, but to fight my greatest enemy, the doubts within myself.”
Photo by Paul O’Sullivan @Dro
About eight months ago, I sold most of what I owned and moved to a new city. In order to maximize this adventure and embrace a new chapter, I’ve found myself in a state of openness and gratitude accepting several projects, collaborations and opportunities that have come my way. With every new experience, my first instinct is to jump right in and commit—but without fail, a mere matter of minutes later, the swirling thoughts of self-doubt come flurrying in like a blizzard.
“You’re not enough. You can’t actually do this.”
Self-doubt is the enemy of creativity. I find that it announces its presence in the more invisible, quiet moments of my day as opposed to the moments that are more visible to the outside world. I’ve embraced the fact that it will probably always be there, no matter how much experience I have with whatever I pursue in my career. The more I read about prolific creators, the more I realize this is part of being an artist.
When my mental self-destruct button starts to blink red and whisper, “PUSH IT. JUST MAKE IT ALL GO AWAY…” I acknowledge it. The difference between this version of me and a younger version of me is that now, I never let that voice win. I remind myself that I am enough. And that trying new things, even if I’m uncomfortable at first, is good for me. Making the choice in tough moments to push through the muck of those thoughts is a muscle I’ve been trying to build over the past few years. It’s not easy or comfortable, but it’s working.
Eleanora Morrison, Chief Editor
P.S. Remember that no matter what you're going through right now, you don't have to do it alone! There are others like you in our community, where we interact on a daily basis, fight our demons, share our victories, and watch over each other as friends and accountability partners.
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