Can’t Master Body Positivity? Try Body Neutrality
BY BETHANY HEITMAN
First things first, the body positivity movement has a lot of wonderful aspects to it. From brands incorporating models of all sizes into their advertisements to women on social media showing off their stretch marks and embracing the skin they're in, witnessing people shed shame and be more body positive can be incredibly beautiful.
What’s also true: It can make some of us feel like we’re failing. Katie, 38, agrees with this notion whole heartedly. “I’ve always been healthy—I eat well and exercise regularly. But I have boobs and hips and have an overall curvy figure,” she says. “The truth is, I’ve struggled for a long time with feeling like my body doesn’t fit into what society says is attractive.” A few years back, when Katie started noticing different influencers posting skin-baring selfies that showed stretch marks or belly rolls, she was surprised to find that it made her feel even worse.
“Suddenly, I felt bad that I didn’t have a perfect body and felt just as terrible that I didn’t want to celebrate my perceived flaws like these other women were doing with theirs,” she admits. “It was a one-two punch that wrecked my confidence.”
Katie’s not alone in how she feels and there are a growing number of voices in the wellness space who say that body positivity doesn’t have to be the goal. Instead, let us introduce you to the concept of body neutrality.
Photo by Sinitta Leunen
What is Body Neutrality?
While the body positivity movement encourages you to love your body as it is, body neutrality is focused on accepting your body where it is. It’s a subtle difference that can make all the difference.
“My therapist urged me to stop thinking about my body in terms of what I loved or hated about the way it looks,” says Katie. “Intead, she encouraged me to stay as neutral as possible about it and think about how I felt. Did I feel strong? Did I feel energized?”
When you focus on how you feel, your mindset is automatically in a healthier place and it can be quite empowering. Rather than comparing yourself to others, it forces you to really tune into yourself and assess what’s working for you and what’s not.
It also puts health at the forefront of your mind. You could try to Jedi mind trick yourself into loving your body, but what if you actually feel sluggish and rundown? On the flip side, if you’re so focused on tearing yourself down, you may totally miss the fact that all those nutritionally- rich meals you've been eating actually make you feel pretty darn good.
Photo by Ronaldo de Oliveira
“When I accepted that I may not love how I look every day, it became easier to accept and appreciate where I am in my journey and relationship with my body—and it helped me really pay attention to how I feel,” says Katie. “And that meant I was putting my health in front of my appearance.”
Interestingly, this type of thinking can actually help your fitness and nutrition goals, too. That’s because it’s much more sustainable and motivating when you notice how living a full, balanced lifestyle improves the way you feel.
Incorporating Body Neutral Thoughts Into Your Life
This all may sound nice in theory, but how do you actually walk the body neutrality walk? It’s actually easier than you may think. Here, a few ways to get started.
Reframe the Conversation
It can be tough to stay in a neutral mindset when loved ones are chattering away body issues. If your pal starts going on about wanting to order a salad because she’s trying to lose the pudge she hates, try to reframe the conversation by talking about how delicious those fresh veggies are or how you woke up feeling so energized after having a nutritious meal last night. If that’s not working, change the subject.
Reboot Your Why
It’s not unusual to treat gym sessions as punishments or responses to overindulgent food moments. Say you decide to order dessert while out at dinner. In the moment, you may vow to go extra hard on the treadmill to make up for it. Instead, try and reframe why you want to go to the gym. Think about how powerful and energized you feel after a solid sweat session.
Acknowledge and Move On
Non-neutral thoughts will pop up from time to time. Rather than dwell on them, acknowledge them and release them. “Something that has really worked for me is taking a deep breath when negative thoughts pop into my head and then telling myself, ‘Nope, you’re not allowed to think about that right now,’” says Katie. “It helps to not get down on myself for having the thought, but rather just telling myself it’s off limits.”
Bethany Heitman, Contributor
P.S. Remember that no matter what you're going through right now, you don't have to do it alone! There are others like you in our community, where we interact on a daily basis, fight our demons, share our victories, and watch over each other as friends and accountability partners.
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