Are You Swapping Support For Solitude?
BY JEN WIDERSTROM
A best friend of mine was recently on the brink of a breakup with the love of her life. Her relationship was all of a sudden unraveling and she couldn’t understand what was going wrong, when so many things up until that point had felt so right. I asked her how they ended up staying together. She told me that one long and vulnerable conversation where they let their guards down about their desires in life is what saved them. For fear of preserving their independence, they had been trying to hold all of these thoughts inside. Once they shared their deepest fears and goals with each other, they understood their individual needs for support and love. They perceived that sharing these things would make them seem weaker, but in reality, it made them both stronger together. This led me to a questioning thought:
When we try to do things on our own to appear strong and capable, are we actually harming ourselves in the process?
As we try to build our independence and strength in life and in our relationships, are we depriving ourselves of the richness it can add to your human experience to feel supported by others? I’m not suggesting bearing all to everyone you meet, but I do think there is a line that you cross when you deflect people’s ability to understand you, your life, your headspace, your goals, and your struggle to reach them—whether they’re personal, professional, physical, or health related.
Photo by Oscar Keys
By closing people off from what’s really going on with you, you sacrifice receiving their support.
We already know from years of research, and from our own personal experiences of accountability and teamwork, that we do better with community. I think we should be wary of “over-indepence”: being so independent that you’re closed off. Allowing yourself the chance to share your innermost thoughts and desires and show people what’s happening in your life allows you to gain a more diverse perspective, and a more textured understanding of your own situation.
As we work toward a more fruitful outcome for our future, we have the opportunity to gain insight, support and love from many people in our lives. If we’re hard-headed and closed off, we risk turning people away and missing out on the deeper relationships that make us so much richer.
Jen Widerstrom, Founder
P.S. Remember that no matter what you're going through right now, you don't have to do it alone! There are others like you in our community, where we interact on a daily basis, fight our demons, share our victories, and watch over each other as friends and accountability partners.
Together we are FÖRENA - a health & fitness community for women like you where we focus not only on our physical health but also mind, soul, relationships, and overall well-being. Become one of us now with FREE 1-month membership, and let us witness your growth! 🌱
Pin it for later
