My Body Is...
BY ELIZABETH GOODMAN ARTIS
I posited this statement in my last “letter from the editor” as Editor-in-Chief of SHAPE magazine. Body was the theme of the issue, and I asked a diverse swatch of people to complete the sentence and folded their thoughts into my note. The responses covered a range of attitudes and emotions. “Beautiful” “Broken” “A Work in Progress” were a few. But it was a sentence I couldn’t finish myself.
Why did I avoid sharing my own words and feelings? The letter wasn’t about me, I reasoned. But truthfully, I didn’t want to—or even know how to—answer the question.
I held the position of EIC for nearly seven years and many of those were invigorating and rewarding. The job was also busy, stressful, and in an industry that is constantly changing and consolidating. I knew that after SHAPE I’d likely move on from media and try my hand at something else, and mostly I felt ok about that. The great unknown, for sure, but after a career in magazines I felt certain that as a life step this pivot would be good for me, and prudent (if not necessary) given the state of the business. But that’s scary, and at times I let fear guide my actions and decisions.
I also got numb to my own health.
There is a thing that can happen (in my experience) when you spend most of your day, every day, analyzing the latest wellness research, news, products, and trends. The information overload somehow made me feel distant and removed. And that attitude translated to not exactly a state of denial, but a state of unconscious indifference. I exercised, but I also ate badly at times, too much at one sitting and not enough at another. I drank wine most days. I put off doctor’s appointments, blaming a busy schedule. I let stress consume me, and I didn’t take adequate care of my mental health, which I could feel happening, especially when I reacted poorly in several work situations, rather than taking a pause to reflect and then respond.
Photo by Mika Baumeister
The pandemic changed that. First, I experienced a nightmarish dental emergency at the onset of quarantine, a direct result of nagging pain I ignored and managed with Advil for months. Then a little later I got some overdue blood work and was alarmed by the results. How could I have high LDL cholesterol (the bad kind) when the phrase “low density lipoprotein” slips so easily off my tongue? That’s not rational, of course, and the news was a reckoning.
So, I started taking my own (professional) advice. More healthy habits, less unhealthy ones. Consistently, every day. I used the time at home to my advantage. Eating at restaurants during those early months wasn’t an option, something I had done frequently before, so I cooked more, but avoided comfort foods and ramped up produce. I stopped using exercise as an excuse to eat whatever I wanted. I explored my emotional relationship with food and identified certain triggers. I got on the scale, regularly. In time I started to see and feel results.
It was also a wakeup call regarding my emotional and mental health. I looked within and addressed some things I had buried, in some cases for decades. This type of psychological excavation isn’t easy or comfortable, but there are times when it’s necessary, and deeply so. I’m not done either.
As far as my body? it is…
Leaner, stronger, healthier, happier, in process and progress, and most importantly, mine.
Elizabeth Goodman Artis, Director of Content
P.S. Remember that no matter what you're going through right now, you don't have to do it alone! There are others like you in our community, where we interact on a daily basis, fight our demons, share our victories, and watch over each other as friends and accountability partners.
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